Wellness Blog

Real Men Prefer the “Naked” Choice

Posted On 10/24/2017 By Primal Admin
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A Beard Oil Made for Vikings and a Man-Balm Made for Sailors

I get it, you are a self-made tough guy and you look the part. Athletic build, great job and you can jump a building in a single bound. But dude, that beard needs some work. We all know that a great beard can set you apart from those baby face boys living in their mother’s basements. But come-on. Let me be honest, you are missing an opportunity because you need to groom that face mop properly so let me lend you some Bro advice.

First, understand that you can’t conquer the world without a proper beard. In fact, according to Australian researchers, growing a proper beard will improve your love life. And according to me, if you groom it properly, your love life will improve even more. But why would a self-made man like yourself listen to my advice, you ask? Well for starters, instead of inciting fear into lesser men, perhaps you could up your game in the age old pursuit of attracting the opposite sex. You probably think you already have this area of your life under control.

But be honest with yourself, it could be better.

What you need is an actionable plan and the key to success is a special ingredient, sent to earth from Odin himself. And the name of that ingredient is Jojoba. Where can you find this elixir? I recommend Ellie Bianca Naked Skin Oil. But it’s a “skin oil” you say. Don’t be fooled by the girly bottle or the name of the product. Real men don’t blame the container, they find a way to make it work. You put this on your beard and the doors to Nirvana will open before you.

Have I convinced you yet? If I have you then are a push over. I haven’t even told you the best part yet. By the end of this article, if I haven’t convinced you that this is the best thing since unicorns then the Ellie Bianca Naked products may just be too manly for you to handle. Follow along and you will be forever cured of those issues that have haunted the manliest of men for millennia. I am going to show you how to face the northern wind like a glacier bound Viking with a beard that looks like it was groomed by wood nymphs. Here are the facts:

  • Fact #1: It doesn’t smell good. In fact, it has no discernible smell at all. Who wants to smell like rose petals when you are stalking dragons. Tough guys smell like blood sweat and tears, not like a princess.
  • Fact #2: It’s all natural; just like thunder and lightning. No chemicals and its organic. This means no allergens or estrogenic compounds to shrink your man parts or give you man boobs.
  • Fact #3: Jojoba. If you don’t trust me, do your own research! You can thank me later.
  • Fact #4: It’s only $32 a bottle.
  • Fact #5: You can use it for erotic massage.

So there you have it, the secret to a properly groomed beard is Ellie Bianca’s Naked Body Oil. Again, this product contains Jojoba Oil which is famous as a beard hair conditioner. So get Ellie Bianca’s Naked Body (Beard) Oil and increase your Tinder score. Here is a link: Ellie Bianca Body Oil.

But wait, it doesn’t end with your beard. Ellie Bianca’s Naked line includes a scentless lip balm. The secret is, it is actually more than a lip balm. You can apply this all natural man-balm to practically any body part. The product doesn’t care if the sun shines on it or not. The chemical free formulation is created with organic ingredients and they won’t burn, blister or sting.

Put this balm anywhere you are chafing or blistering. Slather those areas of raw skin. The balm is not only great for your lips but it also doubles as a salve for blistered hands and ankles. The oils in the scentless balm create a hydrophobic layer to shed moisture from your skin while simultaneously softening, healing and improving its appearance and feel. Taken together, the naked lip balm and the naked body oil protect your skin from the blowing snow, freezing rain and blistering heat.

Face the facts, no one wants to cuddle with a tree. You can still be solid as a bear but softer lips, a groomed beard and smooth skin make even the most rugged men irresistible. It just makes sense.

Crossfit blisters? Check. Runner’s chafe? Check. Looking good for a midnight rendezvous? Check!

Take this opportunity to buy an Ellie Bianca Naked product today. The supplies are limited but they can be purchased at: Ellie Bianca.

I would suggest you keep one in your bathroom and one in your gym bag.

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